dear vending machine in the library ...

long have i turned to you in my hour of intellectual need. remember that time that i desperately needed a blue hi-lighter? you were there, ready to dispense the magic marker for only $1.25. and remember the time that my last working pen gave out in the middle of scribbling down yet another fantastic opening line for that troublesome dissertation chapter? i literally ran down the central spiral staircase to the main floor, plunked my loonie in the slot, and found myself properly equipped to record my scholarly musings. the supervisor(s) loved that opening line, by the way! to recount the number of times that you have been there with the lifeline of my academic practice, the pad of sticky notes, would require another post entirely.

i've noticed of late that you have moved a little up market and are now able to bestow upon hapless undergrads such marvels of technology as the data key. 1 GB for only $35, payable by VISA, Mastercard or AmEx? brilliant, i say. i can't help but wonder, however, if, in an attempt to corner your share of the burgeoning market of those ill-prepared for library work, you have made made a most grievous error concerning the stocking of your emporium of library wonders.

what happened to the peanut m&ms?!

no, that's not a note of panic that you hear in my voice, it's merely concern. concern not just for the progress of my dissertation, a project, the writing of which requires regular consumption of just the exact ratio of protein to chocolate those beautiful, multi-coloured orbs of candied goodness provide, but more importantly, concern for *you, dear library vending machine. having frustrated scholars pounding on your display glass as they face an afternoon of writing, bereft of their candy of choice, can't be at all beneficial to your health. it would provide me with untold pleasure were i to hear from you that you had taken the necessary steps to prevent this from happening again.

with the most sincere wishes for your continued health and well-being,

me.