hugs

hmmm, yes. it's time for one of those sappy posts. in the past week and a bit, life has been anything but easy. following the car accident, there was my tumble off of CM's porch, my insomnia due to nightmares about the accident, e-mails from a friend who is in a life and death struggle with depression, another round of messy paycheque bureaucracy with the university (2nd month, still problems sorting it all out!), and to top it all off, my mom went into hospital on sunday night with dizzy spells and chest pressure. i jumped on bus on monday morning and took off to st. catharines for a couple of days, arriving in the middle of the hottest niagara weather of the season. mom is doing fine; she was battling a bout of bronchitis, made worse by her not finishing a course of previous-prescribed antibiotics, and a sinus infection, and after a couple of days of daughterly care and scolding she's back on her feet. i, however, feel a little like i've been hit by a truck (that cliché has a whole new literal meaning for me!).

through it all, my friends and family have been amazing. what i've felt the most is the wonderful hugs that i've been getting to communicate sympathy. a hug is really a unique thing. the comfort of human touch, the safety of someone's embrace, whether platonic or romantic, it really is quite healing. there are some people in my life who give truly great hugs:

princess -- your hugs are familiar, those of the sister i've always wanted. they stabilize the world for me and this time stopped it from it's dizzy spiral. i don't know what i would do without you as my friend
confessing mermaid -- your hugs are full of empathy and understanding; i don't know how you say so much with one physical gesture
shani -- hugs at the bus station followed by a bag full of handmedown designer clothes from your most recent closet purge ... what more could a girl ask for? ;o)
jules and justin -- you're my family here; dinner and a heart to heart chat with you both followed by warm farewell hugs makes life here good; thank you.
jane -- you're the only other rower i know who gives such bone-crushing bear hugs!
mary louise -- one should always be able to hug one's supervisor and cry on her shoulder a little
katetacular -- you hugged me when i broke down in your living room crying and you listened to my angry rant when i was shocked and scared; i needed that more than i needed a tissue; thank you
L -- a hug and an impish smile has helped me through so much in the years that i've known you
maggie -- a hug hello after months of not seeing you made the world a little less scary

there are also those who, for logistical reasons weren't able to hug me in person, but the warmth of their words or their voices had the same affect:

pat -- our late night chat soothed my weary soul
aunt ingrid -- knowing you were there if i needed someone helped me to be strong
cathy -- yours was the voice of assurance i so needed to hear
shelley -- your empathy coupled with a reminder that the world outside was patiently waiting for me helped me to stay grounded

i've saved the best one for last:

mom -- when i opened the front door and saw you, saw that you were okay, and when i could squeeze the life out of you, my heart started beating a little slower and the world was no longer a dark place. i love you, mom.

okay, sappiness over.